Annas & Akkas ... board the Chennai Express!

Ok, this one's a mixed bag, so Annas & Akkas, Thambis & Thangachis, lend me your eyes & ears!

btw, you can hop on the Chennai Yexpress, travel all the way to Kombam Village & still, the mystery of Deepika’s weird Tamizh accent, remains unsolved! It makes you miss the stereo typed, Padosan-wala-Bollywood-Tamil!

Also, this a public service message - wear dark glasses, because the new villages of Tamilnadu, which have sprouted out of the blue, like Telengana, are a riot of unreasonable colours & you may get blinded!

Allow me to also plead the case of the Tamizh Male. Contrary to what CE suggests, all the men in Tamilnadu, are not scary, shiny skinned, dark, hairy, pot-bellied men, sporting fierce meeshais/moochas & carrying sickles and daggers! There are normal, regular, good looking dudes – I should know, having married one!

Yeah, yeah, so it’s all about Periya Thailaivar, goondas & the rural, spa like setting, but this train ride reflects Twitter sensibilities & Santa-Banta moments!

Rahul’s (surprise, surprise, played by SRK!) Dadaji misses a century, dies at 99, watching Tendulkar miss his 100, by a run & Rahul consoles himself that his grandfather lived a full life, ‘All India Radio ke Zamane Se, Twitter Tak!’

A spoof on the famous railway station sequence of DDLJ, with a twist – while SRK, Rahul ishtyle, gives a pretty, dhavani clad Deepika, a leg up into the running train, he also generously helps four scary looking thugs, who are kidnapping her, with the same enthusiasm!

We’ve all seen the trailer, gasped at Deepika’s Tamil, learned that down South, men wear only veshtis & lungis , Tamizh girls have names like ‘Meena Lochani’, that her Appa is an unreasonable Don, who wants to get his daughter married to a groom of his choice & SRK, gets offended when asked whether he knows Tamil – “Tamizh Teri-a-ma”, is interpreted as a ‘Teri Maa’ gaali – yeah, Rohit Shetty packs the movie with jokes, most which we’ve heard already on Facebook or whatsapp!

So where does SRK fit in, in this typical South based, Rohit Shetty comedy? Surprisingly, quite well - the actor’s ability to laugh at himself, not take his star act too seriously & to play the kinda anti-hero, who gets bullied by the goondas, teased mercilessly as a common halwaai, by Deepika & beaten up by the villain, works well for him, in this out ‘n out comedy, where logic takes a back seat & reason is thrown out of the train window!

The accent may grate, but Deepika looks certainly don’t! Here’s a prediction for the fashion gurus – Ms Padukone elevates ‘dhavanis’/half-saris to the platform of high, cutting-edge fashion!

While she may not be the finest actor in Bollywood, Deepika looks comfortable, travels through the insane plot with ease, with her sometimes on, sometimes off, inexplicable accent!

If you don’t ask some logical questions, like why Rahul or Meena could not look for an airport, instead of inviting trouble, traveling by road, the first half of CE, packed with action, comedy, one liners and lots of fun antakshari, used as a code language, moves briskly.

What is irritating, is the over-kill of the South factor – so much bad Tamil, fictitious little villages, where strange customs exist, like having to carry your bride across 300 steps, after which Deepika becomes all starry eyed & eagerly in love, which brings out the ham in SRK, the never ending chase by the villains & the final fight scene, which went on, till we panicked that the director had forgotten to say “cut”!

Certainly not an unforgettable journey, but who the cares?! Board the ‘Chennai Express’ anyway & simbly yenjoy!

But SRK, please promise us, that after this movie, ‘Tum aisa bakwaas Tamil, kabhi nahin bolegi!!!
— with Ashok Kaushik.