eat weigh suffer

“Eat Pray Love” should have come with a statutory warning to the viewer; “Don’t try to do what happens in the movie, unless you are Julia Roberts!”
What do ‘aam janta’ do when they feel that life gets too tough to handle?

• Yours truly, yaaney ki me, simply releases toxins, by screaming, yelling & slanging at near & dear ones, currently represented by hapless hubby & disgusted daughter! I call it ‘tough love!’ There, I already feel better! Can’t say the same about my dukhi parivaar, but people, this is about me!

• You splash out on a girl’s nite out & have so much fun, that leads to problems, which help you forget the original one!

• For me, just peeping into my daughter’s room & watching her sleep, all cherubic, soft & baby-like, melts away any ‘gilaa-shikhwaa’ against life! It’s another story that, when she gets up, when we resume positions of hostility & the traditional ‘maa-beti’ war!

• For some it’s shopping, others books, calling up a friend ….

• Bottom line, when the going gets tough, the tough get going & fight their way back to sanity & peace!

But then, I'm not Julia … when she finds herself stuck in an incompatible marriage, she calmly walks out & voila, marches into the arms of James Franco (the Spiderman friend, who we should watch out for, in the next Danny Boyle movie)! But is that enough – of course not!

Every morning, when it’s nice & cozy, & sleep is your best friend, you wish you didn’t have to go to work. But if you are not Julia Roberts, you simply get up, pack dabbas for the phamily, get ready & drag yourself to work. The awesome part is, that once you get to the office, you actually have fun!

But Julia Roberts takes a break – from what, I am still trying to figure out & embarks on a journey of self-discovery – yawn!!!!

So she goes to the land of pasta 'n pizza, binges, oh-so-easily finds a wonderful gang of friends (what takes most folks a lifetime!) & makes peace with her expanding waist line … oh well, as I said, woh toh Julia Roberts hai!

Destination next, Mera Bharat Mahaan! Not so mahaan, when it is portrayed, as a land of slums, filth, beggars & ashrams filled with goras chanting & doing seva & the Indian girl, who is being married off, against her choice, at the age of 17! All this, for our phillum ki heroine to discover, that religion lies deep within all of us!

So off she trots to exotic Bali, where she finds spirituality, a guru of sorts, a night life & ….. the final hero of the film, Mr Penelope Cruz & mother of all hotties, Mr Bardem!

But don’t let my cynicism get to you:

Kaafi plus points too:

• The marvel called Ms Roberts, who despite the advancing years, marriage,three kids later, still has the ability to win your heart & charm the pants off you – the original “pretty woman!”

• A travel show spanning three exotic locales!

• Ladies: lotsa eye candy … Franco, Bardem …

So the movie sez: Eat Pray Love!

My life story: Eat Weigh Suffer!