Jab I could not see 'Student Of The Year!'

You are as old as you feel!
I did not feel old, when a grown up hulk & father of two, fondly called me ‘aunty’; just wanted to punch him!
I did not feel old, when I passed by a mirror & a plump, middle aged lady, on the other side, smiled at me!
I did not feel old, when my husband & I discovered, that we were the only grown-ups in the theatre, chuckling over ‘Ice Age 4’!
I did not feel old, when a young lady dived unexpectedly & touched my feet, explaining that she wanted my blessings, because I was older than her!
I do not feel old, when my burly houseboy called me ‘Mummy’ for the first time....

BUT when Karan Johar’s ‘Student of the Year’ hit cinema theatres in town, I finally realised that I was too old, jaded & cynical, for bubble gum romances, set in a nauseating make believe world of Gucci & Prada, where only good looking people exist & everything is picture perfect!

I bid a fond adieu to Archie comics a decade or two ago & can no longer stomach a school, which is inspired by Riverdale High! From what I could make out, from the never ending promotions of the movie, there are two dudes, with six pack abs & designer gear, who are vying for the ‘Student of the Year’ title (yikes#$@%&!*) & the young Ms pouty Bhatt!

A friend of mine was horribly confused - apparently in the movie, there is a divide between the rich kids & the poor kids, but she claims, that the supposedly gareeb student, looks richer than her children & mine; the symbol of poverty, according to our poor little rich boy, KJo, is a motorbike, because ameer kids drive phoren cars! So what does that make my husband, whose life mission is to own a shiny motorbike (it’s another story that while he proposes, his mean, heartless biwi disposes!) – Karan Johar would describe my Patidev, as someone below the poverty line!

It was when I heard about Rishi Kapoor, playing the gay dean of the school, who lusts after his sports coach, leading to comments like, ‘coach coach hota hai’, I gagged, nearly threw up & sadly embraced my new status, as a senior citizen!

Cut to Thursday night in the crowded Cineplex – On one end, us oldies, were waiting to watch a science fiction movie & there was the excited, teeny bopper crowd, the young & the restless audience for ‘SOTY’ & as Kipling said, ‘never the twain shall meet!